School holidays are over and the anxiety is high!

I have had such a headache all day and literally just threw up so violently it hurt.

I want to blame the many, many choc chip cookies I consumed but to act like I don’t binge cookies on a regular basis and that could really be the cause would just be outrageous.

Nope it wasn’t the cookies, I am sick from anxiety……

There are a thousand memes going around at the moment celebrating the fact that after 5 very long weeks we will be rid of the infestation of soul sucking leeches that have plagued us and will regain our 5 hours of freedom 5 days a week back because it’s back to school tomorrow And the memes are funny, fucking hilarious actually!

But they are not how I feel at all, I love school holidays and I mean LOVE THEM, there I said it!

As fucking ludicrous as it sounds I like the sound of my kids fighting over who took up too much space in the hallway as they passed each other.

I like repeatedly telling my kids to close the fucking doors to keep the house god damn cool.

I love going to bed at whatever time I like knowing I don’t have to do the school run in the morning.

I love knowing the afternoons are not filled with homework and assignments and algebra….seriously who the fark needs algebra in life and more importantly WHY?!!!!

No matter how hectic and loud it gets, no matter how many fights they have over trivial bullshit or how close to breaking point I get I truly love having my girls at home so much so that I have considered home schooling many times but know it’s only for my own selfish reasons.

My baby Aiva-Leilani starts high school tomorrow which adds to my anxiety, will she be ok?

Will she be bullied or be a mean girl?

Will her sassy attitude get her in shit or will she lose part of her identity in order to fit in?

I’m scared, I’m sick And I am anxious but I am also excited. I’m excited to see her grow into the young woman she will become and adapt to her new environment and I know she will be fine, she’ll be fantastic actually I am sure of it because she is intelligent, loving and funny and has a kind and beautiful soul but that doesn’t stop this mumma bear wanting to wrap her up in cotton wool and learning how to do math with fucking letters so I can teach her and can keep her at home!!